Phedre no Delaunay cosplay

This January, I was a guest at illogicon, a small but fun con in Raleigh, NC that is my yearly “convention season kick off”. This year’s con was especially exciting because the author Guest of Honor was Jacqueline Carey (Kushiel’s Legacy, The Sundering, Agent of Hel), and I knew that I just had to do a Phedre no Delaunay costume. Her “Mara” dress from “Kushiel’s Chosen” is one of her most famous and immediately recognizable, so I decided to do that one.

Plus, I look great in red.

My partner Matt had to be coaxed/coerced into doing Joscelin, as he had never read the series. He ended up diving into it for the costume, and is now halfway through the first book.

References:

I did a fair bit of research for this costume, and the two sources I drew from most heavily were this image by the amazing Zeldyn, who is, in my opinion, one of the finest Kushiel artists out there. You can follow her on Facebook, Tumblr, or Deviantart.

and Favrielle Atelier’s lovely blog: https://favriellesatelier.wordpress.com/2008/11/04/mara/

Joscelin was a bit tricker, as there isn’t even cover art of him, and so we ended up with fanart, and a few descriptions we found of Joscelin’s attire in the book. Our two guiding images were another piece by Zeldyn, and a lovely sketch by Angela Sasser, another extremely talented artist with a penchant for gorgeous Kushiel Legacy fanart.

Matt also modified the design a bit based on his personal preferences.

The Dress:

I should confess that I’m still quite new to sewing and working with cloth - up until recently, I would shamelessly safety pin cloth bits together to make costume pieces, and resort to crude hand stitching only when absolutely necessary. Matt is even worse (or better), preferring to use rivets in lieu of stitches. So these costumes were no small challenge!

Fortunately for me, I had a secret weapon: my very own Favrielle (whose real name is Lacey). That’s right, I know a snarky redhead seamstress (no facial scarring, though). And true to the books, I pestered her a few weeks before the event to help me make the dress. It took an entire day (quite literally, we were together for 24 hours). I found a nice scarlet stretch satin at Joann’s, which was somewhat of a pain to sew. I highly recommend getting very fine pins and needles for working with it, to avoid runs.

We used a Butterick bridal pattern, B5779, which is a gown with a dramatic lace back and nice train. 

Lacey left out the lace, and modified the cut of the back, as well as the neckline, and added some fancy sleeves. I did my part by standing still so she could pattern the neck and collar, and doing the more minor sewing tasks (hemming, seaming, serging things badly, ironing). Lacey, who hadn’t read the series, was appalled by how plain the dress was, and kept pointing out different things we could do to decorate it. I gently discouraged her in the name of accuracy. She was somewhat mollified when we added the long sleeves and she saw how impressive it looked from the back. Frankly, without her, there would be no dress, and I probably would have gone as close to naked as possible rather than butcher a dress pattern on my own (helloooo, longest night gauze thing.)

In order to make sure the dress (mostly) stayed in place, we used double sided fashion tape (available at Joann's, or David's Bridal) to stick it to my back. The tape worked well, holding up for almost 12 hours before it started losing its grip.

Favrielle is available for commissions, although she has (understandably) stated that she is not comfortable making this dress for someone she can't fit in person.

The Tattoo:

My sister, Artifex Alyssum, handles all my body painting needs (like Darth Talon), so this tattoo was a walk in the park for her. She freehanded the entire thing in the morning, outlining it in yellow first, then going over the lines in black and red. What was her medium of choice, you might ask? SHARPIES. Freakin' Sharpies. It sounds terrible, but we've actually used it before for other tattoo projects -- Sharpies contain a very very similar ink to what we use for dying leather, and it's great for doing a temporary tattoo. To make sure it stayed in place, she sprayed my back down with hairspray. It worked great, and despite people occasionally touching my back, it didn't smudge at all! At the end of the day, she dabbed some olive oil on a paper towel and wiped the whole thing off in a few minutes.

Alyssa's suggestion for doing the tattoo: "Don't be afraid to alter the proportions of the tattoo so it will look good on the person's body. Definitely make sure to seal the whole thing."

Photo by Selfie Murphy

Also, I got Jacqueline to sign it.

bringing my total count of author signatures on my body to: 2! (Pat Rothfuss being the first)

I like the trend...

Joscelin’s outfit:

Matt largely did this on his own, with much muttering about the mysterious nature of sewing machines. He used Simplicity Pattern 4059 to make the tunic, with a rather nice silver-gray curtain I had found at Goodwill. I helped add some trim, as well as the leather pieces on the front, and then he added the leather shoulder flanges (which, you will notice, is where he ran out of patience for sewing and just riveted them to the cloth). The shirt was another Goodwill find, and the pants, gloves, sword, daggers, and boots he had already.

Our friend Shaun Mendes of Chained Elegance sent him the pieces of chainmail for the gloves. Matt made an original pattern for the bracers, then made them with black latigo leather and sheet metal, which he bent into shape and buffed with steel wool. The sword harness was created entirely from scratch, using undyed veg-tan leather that was embossed with a floral scroll print, then dyed, oiled, and sealed. For a double dose of geek, the sword harness pattern is basically identical to Link’s harness:

Which may have something to do with the fact that Matt made both things back to back. For

The finished costumes in action!

 Photographer: Ripptowne Photography 

Photographer: Photosnxs

Photograhper: Chris Burnside.

Bonus:

Shaun surprised me with a dress of his own! And naturally, we had to see how the two would work together...

Photographer: Photosnxs

Freakin gorgeous, that's how. I might have to wear those two together from now on. My friend Chris made the excellent point "Visually, this kind of combines Phedre's two most significant longest night costumes. The chain mail kind of calls to mind the sheer diamond covered dress."

So what's next for these costumes? Hopefully, some very sexy photoshoots! Cons are great, but it's tough to get that intimate assignation vibe out of the background. 

Mission: Secure Leather Jacket for Matt's 30th Birthday

Here's the jacket in question: Mass Effect Commander Shepard Jacket

Here's the (apparently way less nice, according to Mr. Matt) knockoff: Mass Effect Slim Fit N7 Jacket

Q&A:

Q: Why a leather jacket?
A: Matt really likes leather. According to an old friend, this has apparently been a thing for most of his life.

Q: Can't he just make it?
A: Matt really can't sew. (And I'm not about to waste several hundred dollars of Italian Lambskin by applying my amateur talents to this project)

Q: Why Mass Effect?
A: If you haven't yet realized the extent of Matt's Mass Effect worship, I can only assume it's because he hasn't cornered you and given you his speech about everything he loves about Mass Effect and why the ending was so brutal, followed by some form of how he would have done things differently.

Q: Why not just buy the cheaper knockoff jacket?
A: That's what I'm going to do if we don't raise enough. I think the knockoff jacket looks nice, but Matt took one look at it and promptly rattled off five reasons why it wasn't as nice as the original. He likes it, but he reeeeaaaally wants the original.

Q: Wait, how is this going to be a surprise if Matt's seen both of these jackets to pass judgement?
A: Ahaha! That's the beauty of it, he's beating himself up for not buying the jacket when it was a mere $500 or whatever from the Bioware store. Therefore he will not see this coming :D

Worldbuilders 2014

1. No minimum donation.
2. Every donation = 1 entry.
3. If you win, I'll ask you to send me a screenshot of your confirmation email or completed donation page.
4. You can redeem your win now for a print I have currently - or hold on to it for a later print!

Costumer Woes: Making a Costume for Which There Is No Canonical Reference Picture

When I'm trying to visualize a costume described in a book: 

When none of my internet searches turn up anything useful:

When I realize I'm going to have to come up with a design myself:

For costumers like me, who suck at all things sewing and fabric related...you might relate to the next two gifs as well. Everyone else, proceed to the last two gifs!

Welcome to my new Kickstarter project: Allegra Wants to Eat Fancy Food!

Hey guys! You know how like, I really like to eat? And I'm a huuuuuge foodie? Well, here's a chance for you to help me realize my ambition of eating at a super nice restaurant! As you know, good food is expensive. So I'm doing a kickstarter to raise money so I can treat myself to a fantastic meal!

What's in it for you: All of these EXCITING INCENTIVES!
Also since I'll be eating expensive fancy food instead of like, ramen and mac and cheese, so you're helping me get into shape for skimpy cosplays! Teehee!

*ahem* for example

Pledge $1
You decrease the odds I will hunt you down and mug you for money.

Pledge $5
I will acknowledge you in public.

Pledge $10
Your existence will be validated because I will mention you BY NAME on Facebook.

Pledge $25
I will text you a photo of what I'm eating.

Pledge $50
You can give Pikachu-bookbag a bath.

Note: if Pikachu-bookbag is already sufficiently clean I have other Pikachus

Pledge $100
Not only will you receive all of the previous incentives, I will let YOU pick which drink I order!

Pledge $200
You can accompany me and watch me eat. We can split an appetizer.

Why you should back this project:
Because I really like good food!

Yeah but don't a lot of people...
YES BUT I HAVE BOOBS

But Allegra! If you're really hungry and you want to eat, why don't you just buy good food in a price range you can afford?

...

What do you think I am, some kind of peasant??

Look at this shiny headdress.

You see that? I AM A PRINCESS.

Anyway this entitles me to nice things without having to do much work for them.  I MEAN, LOOK AT EVERYTHING I'M DOING FOR THIS KICKSTARTER!

Stretch goals!

Raise $600
I will make a video of myself eating sensuously, unless it's like, lettuce, or a really big piece of sushi.

Raise $2000
I will take pictures of myself naked adorned only with sushi. Sushi pieces used for this shoot will be mailed to the highest backers, which they can consume at their own risk.

Like this but with no soft glow effects.

Raise $1,000,000
I will buy my own sushi restaurant so I can have sushi whenever I want while wearing my favorite costumes. Anyone who donates can totally come hang out at the restaurant (costumes not required)

So thanks for checking out my Kickstarter and I hope you'll donate! Yaaay!


PS this was intended as a humorous piece inspired by recent events but in the time it took to write this I realized I am really hungry and all the sushi pictures I looked up aren't helping and suddenly this really seems like a great idea halp.

PPS nvm made a sandwich, I'm better now

Crash Course in Bodypaint

Every now and then, you come across a character you’d love to cosplay – except she’s got bright green skin. Or flaming scarlet. Or jet black.

or two out of three!

The point is, it’s not even close to a natural flesh tone from anywhere on this planet. You could don a spandex bodysuit, but for the most realistic appearance, I've come to rely on body paint. While it’s definitely a very involved and time consuming process, I think the results are well worth it! Hopefully this little guide will break things down.

Be warned, there are pics of naked people in paint.

4k fans giveaway raffle!

Thanks for getting me up over 4k fans! As promised, we're doing a sweeeeet raffle where you can win some swanky art of mine. 

Here are DA RULES.

1) This is for fans of my facebook page only! When you enter, you must use the name on the facebook account you liked my page with.  

2) actually I think that's pretty much the only rule.... don't hate me if you don't win! the winners will be chosen completely randomly. I'm sure I'll find an excuse to have another raffle later :)

So that's it! I'm very flattered there are, frankly, any people who enjoy my work, let alone over four thousand of you. It's a huge motivation to keep improving and challenging myself, and I always appreciate the suggestions and feedback that folks give me.

Love,

TheChainmailChick

ConReport: ConTemporal 2012

Can I just start out saying – North Carolina is really distinguishing itself this year with conventions! Not only do we have our longstanding faves –WTHCon, StellarCon, ConCarolinas, HeroesCon, MACE, CarolinaRenaissance Faire – but we are coming up with a whole new crop of first year conventions (illogicon, ConTemporal, Festival of Legends) and quite a few fantastic one day events. It's so cool to be a part of this thriving community! And ConTemporal really brought their A-game to this past weekend; it was a spectacular show. As I wasn’t vending, I can’t say whether or not it was a profitable show for folks (I know some people made out like bandits), but the atmosphere of the convention was wonderful.

Thursday night was mostly just checking into the hotel and chilling, as well as the guest dinner. It was a nice way to start the convention, sitting down and talking with people. Also cheesecake. Conventions, if you’re ever wondering how to win the love of your guests, food is definitely not a bad way to go about it. Two of my roommates and I sat down at a random table and soon befriended/traumatized the two guys who sat with us, an artist named Ruben and Wookie, one of the security guys. 

Friday morning we got our schedules. I decided to hold off on the bikini’ing until the Nerdiquette panel, so I spent the afternoon roaming around in total disguise.

"total disguise" of course meaning "wearing clothes." Photo by Chris Burnside

It’s amazing how many convention goers do not panic when they think a total stranger has just run up and tackle-hugged them.

My first panel was a body paint panel with my friend Mary. Unfortunately for us, the girl who was supposed to be heading the panel was also on the cast, and so she had to attend opening ceremonies, leaving us to improvise our way through the panel. But between Mary and I, we spend almost as much time in paint as we do in our natural colors, so we were able to give a pretty thorough review of our different approaches and techniques. Mary uses Ben Nye and brushes, while I prefer alcohol based paint such as Kustom Kolor and an airbrush! Just goes to show you there’s not one right way to go about doing your costume J

*Disclaimer – which is to say, there are plenty of right ways. And also a lot of wrong ways. Do your research!

Nerdiquette was next up – for those not familiar with it, some friends and I started a small group called Nerdiquette 101, dedicated to promoting social skills on the con scene. We discuss everything from personal space to approaching strangers to getting out of awkward situations, and we also did an offshoot panel Saturday night about Geek Dating (how to meet geeks! How to flirt with them! How to maintain your relationship with your prize catch!)

Since Jennie Breeden was at the con, it wouldn’t be complete without a kilt blowing! A kilt blowing, for those not in the know, is when kilts are made to flutter and fly up (but hopefully not *too* far up, lest it become an X-rated event) through the strategic use of a leaf blower. Many daring gentlemen (and one HELLA BALLSY LADY) volunteered to be blown, and we audience members were appropriately appreciative of everyone’s efforts – especially when poor Jennie got the tables turned on her by the emcee!

I am starting to think panels at or after 10pm don’t do so well. (unless they’re dating or adult themed)  Friday night, we had “What Judges Want”, a panel about how to dominate a costume contest, which was attended by almost nobody who actually entered the contest (alas) and then after that, “Costuming for every body type”, about how to plan a costume to your best advantage (which was slightly better attended but not really). 

Costuming is tricky to begin with, and the more extreme your proportions are (super skinny, super curvy, very tall, or quite short), the more you have to finagle to make a costume look right for you. The wrong cut dress on me, for example, makes me look rather boxy and stumpy, because I’m so short and busty. Our recommendations included: tailoring, shapewear, making your own version of a costume (like Steampunk Slave Leia, for example), and not giving and damn and making an awesome costume and having a great time regardless.

I think there was a dance or something going on Friday night, but after my panels, I was about ready for sleep. And by sleep, I mean staying up to use our room’s wifi connection to get my gaming fix for the weekend. *like a nerd!*

And suddenly Saturday! Matt and Cord arrived Saturday morning and dragged me and Kelly out to the parking lot to help them armor up. Which, given that it was roughly the temperature of the surface of the sun, was a terrible idea (neither black leather or metal are particularly cooling). Once we got them suited up and rehydrated, and I played around with my new found green hair sufficiently, we went exploring around the con floor. We saw the renowned Penny Dreadful Productions, promoting their new post apocalyptic project, Remnant, as well as the Imperial Anti-Piracy Squadron, who were a little hindered in their efforts by the fact that one of the children at the con took it upon himself to warn all potential pirates about the Squadron.

 There was lots of cool stuff in the dealer room, everything from jewelry to books to steampunk comics/graphic novels to (of course) chainmail to leatherwork! I got to chat with Kaja and Cheyenne of Girl Genius, and they complimented my Zeetha/Skifander inspired get up. *fangirl squee moment*

nothing builds friendships like chainmail! Photo by Chris Burnside

We also stopped by Brute Force Studios to check out Thomas’ AMAZING leatherwork. I have to admit, as a novice leatherworker, I am *dreadfully* jealous of his laser cutter. He was happy to show off all of his neat goodies, including a steampunk gauntlet with working Bluetooth compatible keyboard:

And…the very arm that Nathan Fillion wore on the steampunk episode of Castle!

I don't care that it's way too big for me, I feel like a  pretty steampunk princess!

Also Nathan’s hat.

If this expression doesn't scream crazed fangirl...

As part of our wandering around, we tracked down photographer Paul Cory and did some impromptu shooting with him. While Matt was getting his pictures done, Cord and I had a little photoshoot of our own…

the little known musical side of bounty hunters

We spent a lot of time talking to different craftspeople and costumers, and I definitely came home with a ton of ideas that I want to try out. One of the really neat things about the con was that they had dedicated staff members in costume as specific characters created for the convention, as well as people whose job it was to build set pieces and decorate the hotel walls. The end result was a very immersive environment that really did make you feel like you’d temporarily stepped into a different world. James Christopher Hill's designs featured prominently on several walls

 and the fabulous machinery and costumes of HattonCrossSteampunk caught everyone's attention! 

At 4pm, Angela and I had a panel about cosplay modeling, which went pretty well. We covered differences in body language and posing between men and women, how to fool the camera into flattering you, and what to do/not to do at a photoshoot (both for models and photographers)

Later that evening was the costume contest, and I have to say, it was one of the most difficult ones I’ve judged yet. There were so many high quality costumes, and such excellent craftsmanship! One of the things I love about steampunk is how it encourages people to incorporate a wide variety of talents (wood work, metal work, electronics, leather work) in their costumes, whereas in other genres, you’re a bit more limited in what you can use. 

John Strangeway, or Steampunk Boba Fett as many people know him, was our delightful MC, and he kept the audience from rebelling suitably entertained while the judges frantically deliberated.

one of these things is not like the others! clue: it's GIANT and RED.

After the costume contest, we sprinted away to get food, only to have to immediately sprint back for my 10pm panel on Geek Dating. I sat on the panel and shoveled food into my mouth like a maniac, and yet, somehow, people still listened to my advice. The panel was slightly derailed by two pretty boys kissing

...uh...what was I typing about?

But we mostly stayed on track and talked about the hurdles of navigating the dating pool as a single, the challenges of resolving issues once you were in a relationship, and the benefits of improving your communication overall. We also discussed general issues of self esteem, and how they relate to your dateability. Really, 50 minutes was not enough time to talk about everything, and I'd love to see this turn into a two part panel.

Saturday night was also room party night! There were several good ones to choose from (and some yummy cider and brownies, thanks illogicon!) so we ended up migrating a lot, and finally just found a little lobby area to hang out and talk. We also met Blaise, an ENORMOUS purebred Alaskan Malamute – they look like super sized huskies, very intelligent – and he won all of us over by being the sweetest and most cuddle friendly dog. All us girls went nuts over him and I kind of want one now. (Yes, animal lovers, I know they are a lot of work! I have no plans of getting a dog until I’m really really really certain I’ll be able to care for it properly)

Despite our best intentions to be reasonably responsible, we all went to bed around 4ish, and when I crawled out of bed around 10:30am on Sunday, I was deeply repentant. We packed up and loaded the cars, then went to do our round of goodbyes (which, as everyone knows, takes several hours). I fully intended to corset up for the last day but was overcome with a tremendous case of not giving two sh*ts about how sleek my waist looked and took it off so I could hug people better.

Overall, the programming needed a bit of fine tuning (such as my friend’s conflict that I mentioned earlier) but the staff was tremendously helpful and friendly, and thanks to the combined efforts of the Green Room and the consuite, I did not starve to death over the weekend. Congratulations to all the staff and volunteers for their hard work and a job well done! I can't wait to see what ConTemporal does next year!

(Unless they do zombies. F*ck zombies.)

Con report: illogicon

This past weekend, I kicked off my con season with a convention in my former haunting grounds, Raleigh NC. It was a first year con, very small, but tons of fun. In some ways, I like small cons better than huge ones, just because you actually get to hang out and connect with people, as opposed to the big cons, where you have to have drive-by-conversations. It’s like the difference between going to Mardi Gras, and having a dinner party with a bunch of good friends. I will admit that despite being a tiny weekend event, it completely kicked my ass, and I was so exhausted by Sunday night that I couldn’t even stay awake enough to play a button-mashing side scroller on the Xbox with my sister. In gamer speak, that's pretty freakin' exhausted.

Technically, my illogicon started on Thursday night, when Matt and I drove down early so I could shoot with my dear friend and mentor Alan Welch, of Reverie Realm. We’ve been planning an image as an homage to Frank Frazetta’s “Egyptian Queen”, and finally got a chance to shoot it, using our friend’s large garage/workshop area. For anyone unfamiliar with it, Little Miss Egyptian Queen is wearing some kind of gold pasties, and a long blue loin cloth, and….nothing else. Oh, she has a fancy Egyptian hat. Which is all well and good when you are lounging about warm, sunny, well heated Egypt, but holy cow it’s January and we’re practically outdoors and why couldn't he paint her in a nice cashmere sweater or something. Thank god for set assistants and fluffy bathrobes is all I have to say. The pictures turned out great, though, and hopefully I’ll be posting the finished image soon!

On Friday, Matt and I headed over to the hotel to set up. We were nicely tucked into a corner with Shaun, my chainmail guy, and GarthGraham, a really unfairly cute webcomic writer and artist. Every year at WTHCon I bid on him at the geek auction, and every year I get outbid because he can do the David-Bowie-in-Labyrinth-glass-ball-thing. Pro tip, fellas, the ladies just love that. Also in the dealer’s room were the artists of Firetower Studios, a Jedi Academy (where you can learn to fight with lightsabers!), and some cool vendors selling books, jewelry, and art. I finally got to meet (officially in person) two of my con buddies, Animaze Guy, whose awesome pictures I will be linking throughout this blog, and Mike Penny, who does videography.

I had a record (for me) EIGHT panels, including the Zen Scavenger Hunt (the panelists bring 10 random items, then the audience makes a scavenger hunt by calling out what they want us to “find”, and we have to explain why one of the random things we brought is what they want. It’s like an awesome exercise in BSing, because you have to explain how a typewriter is really like a bass guitar. Unfortunately, I kinda skimmed the explanatory email, and brought nothing besides my jazz hands, so I was designated scorekeeper), Trivia for Chocolate (answer geeky trivia questions, receive chocolate for correct responses), a couple panels about modeling, costuming, and art (with the aforementioned Firetower Studios guys, who are very funny).

Friday night also saw a very fun dance party thrown by the infamous Formal Vader (with his beautiful wife as Formal Leia, making them a very-well-dressed-but-exceedingly-weird-to-think-about-in-canonical terms couple). 

Just before the Father-Daughter dance!

As it was a winter formal, I endeavored to find something appropriate to wear.

Clearly I failed.

We had Mandalorians and Master Chief (in a pinstripe suit), raver girls, elves, lots of people in formal wear, and Matt even got down on the dance floor in his full armor.

In addition to enabling people to dance their butts off, there was also a fundraising and support effort for Baby Leah, affectionately known in the fan community as “Princess Leah.” Leah is the infant daughter of two Star Wars fans, Zev and Fran Esquenazi, and she suffers from a very serious condition that has baffled doctors. As anyone who’s ever had a family member go to the hospital… those bills get kinda scary. So the fan community has banded together to help raise money for her family, and so far has sent $65,000 to her family to help them out. You can check out their facebook page and blog if you're interested in helping out! This time, we also took turns recording video messages of hope and encouragement, so hopefully the Esquenazis will be getting their video of all of us NC geeks wishing them the best soon.

Saturday saw the debut of my newest outfit for conventions: my fleece? Pikachu onesie. Oh, I can sense your jealousy from here. My dear friends Cord and Kelly came up with it for my Christmas present, and it’s the perfect thing for wintery conventions, warm and soft and fuzzy. Also, it’s the best way ever to one-up someone’s Pikachu hat/tshirt/shoes/whatever. “Oh, you’re wearing a Pikachu? I AM PIKACHU, BITCHES.” (I may have a small Pikachu one-up-manship contest going on with my friend SpaceJesus) Words can’t describe the amazingness of this outfit, so I think these pictures will have to:

Chu!

Back view... yes, it has a tail!

Me, clearly about to kick some Mandalorian's ass

There were more panels….and more parties! ConTemporal, a Chapel Hill based steampunk convention, threw an excellent party which was promptly shut down by the hotel, then discreetly reopened by the ConTemporal staff, and was very fun, especially for a party that periodically had to shush itself. For all the Whovians out there, we taped an episode of GallifreyPirate Radio (which you can watch here). I also helped host Trivia for Chocolate, as the self-designated Chocolate Girl. Like Vanna White, but handing out M&Ms. Is it true that I was caught sneaking a few M&Ms? At this time I can neither confirm nor deny such allegations…

Sunday is always a very laid back day at conventions, partly because everyone is leaving to get home and get ready for the week to start again, but mostly because everyone is dead tired from partying/gaming the night before. In a cruel twist of fate, Sunday is actually when I had the most panels, so I was forced to feign coherence and wittiness. I confess, I couldn’t even bring myself to get into the bikini, and spent the entire day as The Pajama Chick, and now I’m strongly considering lining my bikini with some flannel.

By Sunday afternoon, I was falling asleep in the lobby waiting for my last panel to start. The panel, named “See I’m So Pretty,” was not actually a panel about stunning good looks, but rather how to get great pictures of your costume. You might be surprised to know how much sorcery is involved with this process, so it was a pretty informative panel, but we also forced the audience to preface any comment or question with a compliment about the panelists, preferably related to how pretty we were. Our very creative audience complimented the sturdiness of our noses, our lack of split ends, and how nice our relatives were. Next time I’ll have to be a lot more specific with the wording.

We capped off our Raleigh visit with a trip to Brewmasters, to sample their famous burgers, which were ungodly delicious and probably totally unhealthy. And then I slept for 14 hours straight.

I hear illogicon was a success this year, so there will be another next year, and I’m looking forward to it! Congratulations to the illogicon team for putting together such a fun event :)

My year of conventions

All right, so I’ve been doing this convention/cosplay/modeling thing for about a year and a half. I’m not a supermodel, and Dragon*con hasn’t sent me an email begging for my attendance. I made a bit of money this year, most of which went straight back into costumes and travel expenses. I moved twice, pulled off the most difficult cosplay on my “to do” list, got into a minor internet scuffle over an ill-conceived gaming company’s marketing scheme, and I did more paid photoshoots this year than since I started modeling. I met a lot of amazing people, and got to know many acquaintances better. Several people made artwork of me, including this badasslittle statuette I am now referring to as my action figure. I drove a 22 hour round trip by myself, I started selling my own pictures, and I began guesting at conventions.

I also made a mess of my personal life and my (now ex) boyfriend and I separated. I occasionally offended people by not knowing their names (names and faces have *always* been a weak spot of mine). I stammered at dinner parties when nice, normal adults asked me what I did for a living because "professional bikini wearer" did not seem like a respectable response (default answer: I do…freelance…sales?). I lost a few friends for not being more in touch.

So…what did I learn? Was it worth it? Should I keep pursuing this crazy career? Let’s do some Q&A, which is really just me talking to myself, and figure it out.

My Month of Pirate Festivals

October was a busy month.  And by busy, I mean we were out of town literally every weekend (except the first weekend, when we were putting up a barn. Well, Matt worked on the barn, I made chili and cornbread for the barn builders) But we did Tybee Island Pirate Festival, Southern Pirate Festival in Columbus, Georgia, and then the Pirate Gathering in St. Augustine, Florida. And you’ll notice that none of them are closer than a six and a half hour drive!  

Tybee Island was my first pirate festival, and it basically takes place on a stretch of road right next to the beach in Georgia, where pirates carouse about for three days. Matt and The Costume Boss both told me how hot Tybee had been last year, so I packed shorts and tshirts and not one sweater and naturally it was rainy and windy the entire time. It was so cold that I ended up wearing a full Georgian gown, and I was still so chilly I had to pull a giant leather and canvas cloak over myself. Stupid wind chill.

But the pirates didn’t care, partly because their outfits tend to be pretty layered, and partly because there was a beer truck at the event and several bars within stumbling vicinity, so they had a grand time anyway. Matt managed to be shirtless for most of the event, because he’s just determined like that.

On the second day of the festival, we arrive early, get the tent set up, and then mill around waiting for people to show up. I decide this is a good time to catch up on all that sleep I’m not getting on this trip (more about that in a later blog post)

Our tent was at the end of the row, near the performance enclosure and the beer truck. Which was an awesome spot, except the beer truck people inexplicably claimed the right wall of our tent for their banner. Unfortunately, this meant that we didn’t have any covering over that wall. So when it started raining sideways…guess which wall it blew in through.

If you guessed “that wall, AND THE CEILING”, then you are totally correct, and either a fellow vendor or a mind reader. 

I have put together a helpful illustration of the situation.  

It was also pretty adult…well, during the day time there were kids, and everyone was polite and friendly, but come nightfall, the Slutty Pirate s appeared in full force… I saw quite a few treasure chests and plenty of pirate booty, if you know what I mean by that incredibly unsubtle innuendo. Seriously, there was one lady walking around in a pirate coat…and nothing else. She kept bending over in front of our booth to look at socks, much to the delight of several dudes with cell phones. At one point, a guy was trying to take an upskirt (up coat?) shot of her, only to have a random passerby walk right in front of his shot. He fell to the ground with an anguished wail. “Whyyyyy! Why would you ruin that for meeeee!”

The Southern Pirate Festival, on the other hand, was a very different event. Held outside a Civil War Naval museum (way cool!), it was a day time only event that focused on music, kid-friendly events, and cannon firing. (which managed to catch me off guard once and scare the pants off of me)

It was also at this festival that we had…the bed bug adventure.

The bedbug adventure began when we found a rather dingy but super cheap hotel about 3 miles from the event site to stay in. In case you’re wondering, it’s the Rodeway Inn, 1600 East Highway 280 Bypass, Phenix City, AL 36867. We stayed there our first night with no problems, so the Costume Boss went ahead and paid (in cash) for another couple nights (and got a room for our friends).

All very well and good. We came back the second night, worked on some costumery, watched tv, and chilled out…then, right before I was about to tuck in for the night, I felt something tickling on my leg. I pushed back the covers and found… a freakin bedbug crawling on me.

For reference, a bed bug. 

We tore that room apart, ladies and gentlemen. We stripped those beds down like we were mining for gold. And we found, wouldn’t ya know, another bedbug! (also what looked like a bloodstain on the underside of the mattress. Notgonnathinkaboutit.)

Needless to say, we had a few things to tell the lady at the front desk. She told us the manager had taken the money with him when he left for the evening, so she couldn’t refund us, but she could offer us another room. Which was pretty reasonable. Except that when we scoped out the new room, we found…more bed bugs. And cockroaches and earwigs crawling on the walls.

PEACE OUT, BITCHES. We were not sleeping there.

Fortunately The Costume Boss was a Choice Hotels member or something like that (by this time it’s like 3am, I am exhausted and trying to sleep curled up in a little ball in the front seat of the suburban, so he could have been a member of the Justice League for all I was paying attention) and managed to get us another room at a Quality Inn about 1 minute further down the road from us and OH THANK HEAVENS it was clean, and really nice, and not infested with bedbugs. That last part was really important.

After we were out of the Room of Insect Hell, I did check out the google reviews (I always trust in the google reviews) for the Rodeway Inn, and found out that not only had every single reviewer left a one star review, two of them complained about bugs, and all of them seemed to indicate that the manager of the hotel would not be giving us our money back. You might recall, The Costume Boss had paid the guy in cash, which was all our hotel money for this trip. So if we didn’t get a refund, we were gonna be camping on the fairgrounds. (still preferable to spending another night in that hotel)

So Saturday morning, The Costume Boss left us in charge of the tent, and drove back to the Rodeway to talk to the manager. I cautioned him about what the other reviewers had said about their lack of refund.

“Oh, we’ll see,” he said cheerfully. You know how when the Joker is happy, it really means terrible things are about to happen? Let’s just say he had a bit of a glint in his eye.  

He came back a little while later with a full refund.  

But other than that, the Southern Pirate Festival was a really nice show, with lots of performers and some cool vendors. The weather was blessedly beautiful the entire time we were there. I wore pretty dresses and flounced about like a…tramp who normally wears bikinis trying to imitate a lady.

The Southern Pirate Festival was also the first event where I got to listen to The Brigands, a five-ish person pirate band, consisting of some rather talented and amusing musicians, most of whom I believe are related but I’m not too clear on this point. Anyway! Their performance was great, and they proclaimed Muppet Treasure Island to be the greatest pirate movie of all time. They have won my love.

After SPF, we barely had a couple days to catch our breath, though we did find some time to carve pumpkins with Matt’s family.

It's supposed to be a twilek dancing girl, apparently I cannot freehand these things...

Then it was back on the road, this time to St. Augustine.  

We got in to St. Augustine at about 4am, and then had to be up and out of there at 11am, because the show opened at 3pm, and we were supposed to be set up by one. Or it was open at one. Or we were supposed open at 5pm and we had to be ready by three. In other words, clear communication was not a strong point from the organizers (or The Costume Boss) at this faire. Eventually we got the booth set up and the faire was off to a galloping start!

Well, kinda. First we had to deal with the Fire Safety guy. Apparently we needed to show him proof that our tent was fire resistant. Now, our tent is made out of flame-proof canvas, and we always have a fire extinguisher with us at shows, within easy grabbing range, but apparently that wasn’t enough for this guy. We needed…PAPERWORK. 

Crap, we didn’t have any. So we had to call the mill that sold us the cloth to send this guy authentic proof of its inability to spontaneously combust. All the while he made vaguely threatening comments about how if we didn’t, we were going to have to go home (or buy some new tents while we were down there, or something). Now, we’ve done like, several dozen faires, and this has never been an issue, but every faire has its own rules and quirks and such…but what was biting my ass was WE WERE NEXT TO A DAMN TIKI HUT. As in, the thing made of sticks and leaves and highly flammable materials. And this guy is after us like we’re the fire hazard??

It was a pretty chill show, though – we had a sprinkle of rain here and there, but we had learned our lessons since Tybee and covered everything in plastic and put a rain fly around our tent – and there weren’t a huge number of people, but the people who were there were very dedicated costumers who were thrilled about lots of the stuff we were selling (which is always an ego boost)

Also I got to hold a parrot.

There were, however, three huge perks to this show.

#1 – WINE SLUSHIES. Yes, say it with me. Wine slushies. One of the booths near us, the  “Winey Wench”, specialized in slushies made with wine and oh my god, if all alcohol tasted that good, I would never sober up. Particularly if they were all delivered in slushy form. Yes, I am the kind of person who orders blended fruity frozen drinks with little umbrellas. Anyway, she had mango, orange creamsicle, sangria, strawberry kiwi, chocolate, and peach… I tried two of everything and we ended up buying three bags of slushy mix. It’s wonderfully simple, you use 3 cups wine (or any alcohol, they occasionally used vodka or baileys) and 6 cups water (or milk or what have you), add slushy mix, freeze, thaw for 30 minutes, and eat. No blender required!

#2 – Tammy and Robert Derwick. A married couple we first met at Tybee (at the encouragement of Matthew Morse), they are both fantastic and unique artists. Robert does glass etching on mirrors, and Tammy does mermaids, and their stuff is gorgeous! I have a secret fondness for mermaids (particularly the dark and deadly kind, though Tammy’s are much more pleasant looking). Also, they’re very nice, and when it was slow at our booth, Matt or I would slip away to chat with them. Check out their work here: http://www.finelinestudioglass.com/mermaid.html

#3 – Pirate Bash! Saturday night, we went to the pirate bash, a giant dinner party attended by all the local pirate crews and some old school royalty annnnnd the Brigands! Hurrah! It was an excellent dinner (shepherd’s pie, absolutely amazing barbecue sandwiches, corn bread, coleslaw, macaroni….oh, I ate so much food…) and then after dinner, there was dancing! Pearl managed to teach a group of people how to do a fun old line dance, and there was a pirate boy who was very light on his feet who managed a jig. I managed to sway in one place, being quite full and content to watch.  

All good things must come to an end…and Sunday afternoon, we broke the tent down in record speed and hauled ass outta there…that 9 hour drive is no joke!

So now I’m back in town, catching up on lots of work (and missed meals, and lost sleep) and trying to decide how I’m going to spend my two month convention break. (Hopefully shooting lots of cool stuff and getting some costumes done)

But, now you know why I wasn’t around for pretty much all of October  ;P Would I do it again? Hell no, I missed all the good local Halloween parties. Also, I have bed bug bites on my hand.

<3 What did you do for Halloween?