The Hot Men of Cosplay: Part I!

We see lists of sexy female cosplayers all the time, but not so many of the male cosplayers… What’s up with that? Our geek brothers need love too! And, let’s be honest, seeing hot guys cosplay brings joy to the hearts of lady convention attendees. We’re just more discreet about leering  (sometimes)

Now because I love leering at shirtless dudes promoting fairness and equal opportunity objectification, I tracked down 11 cosplayers and subjected them to a mini interview (with pictures!)

So without further ado, I give you….                                                       The Hot Men of Cosplay: Part I!

First up is Alex Rae, who’s well known for his Christopher Reeve-esque good looks and spot on Superman costume.

Seriously, he manages to look like all the best parts of Christopher Reeves AND  Brandon Routh

How do you feel about being hardcore objectified for this article?

About as comfortable as taking a raw steak past a hungry lion…

Rawr! I promise I won’t bite. Have you always been a geek?

Nope, kinda got thrown into this level of Geekdom. it has been a lot of fun and very enjoyable so I keep doing it, have been for the past year.

Do you cosplay in the bedroom?

No, still waiting for lois

Must…not…make…”Superman that ho” joke…

If you had to rescue the damsel in distress, how would you do it?

VIA Quest- just like Shrek did to Fiona. Fire, dangerous perils, Dragons.

Favorite superhero?

Tie between TMNT and Scooby-Doo, if either of those classify as "a superhero"

What do you do to relax?

Ride the motorcycle, get some good gym time in

How do you stay in shape?

Diet is everything- paired with going to the gym and actually breaking a sweat. over the past year I have worked out with a variety of different individuals who have different techniques and methods that work for them in search of what works for my body. Parading around in tights is a privilege.

More like our privilege! 

Most awkward convention moment:

I got petted by a 13 year old red headed fat round boy once. I have never been so scared or felt so out of place while wearing the costume.

What song would you pick as a theme song for your life?

one of the songs from pixars, Cars about open roads, thats my life currently: living by the moment and having fun in everything I do.

Well I'm definitely having fun. More shirt ripping, I say!

Next we have Beat Down Boogie’s very own comedic hotties, Snake and Ghost! Also known as Matt Sumner and Brian Lee. You've seen them in "Snake and Ghost do Dragon*con 2010" and the popular YouTube series "Modern Warfare 2 meets Metal Gear Solid"

Because I love a man in a mask, let's start with Brian/Ghost!

Do you get hit on a lot?

-Quite often by Sumner, but it’s ok. The fights are scripted and the punches only look real. Oh wait, you meant in a romantic sense? The answer is still yes. Micah is quite…oh. By women? *sigh* no. *whimper*

How do you feel about being hardcore objectified for this article?

-I’m currently topless. Does that answer your question?

Do you cosplay in the bedroom?

-There was this one time I tried to. I had the Ghost mask on and knocked on the window. I'm not sure why she didn't open it. She just screamed and ran…

Have you always been a geek?

-010110010110010101110011

How do you stay in such amazing shape?

Martial arts, weights, running, climbing, parkour...I'm a big fan of action verbs.

Suddenly I am also a huge fan of action verbs...

Brian Lee's Action Reel 2011 from Matthew Sumner on Vimeo.
(more action verbs at work)

Most awkward convention moment:

-Ah, my first Dragon*Con. I remember trying to kick a friend in the butt. I missed. I ended up flat on my back, laughing hysterically, in the middle of floor of the Hyatt. Alcohol may or may not have been involved.

I'm gonna go ahead and guess yes. 

Favorite superhero:

-Batman. He's the pinnacle of what a normal human can do...well, a normal human with a deathwish and a multibillion dollar budget.

If you had to rescue the damsel in distress, how would you do it?

-I got out of the rescue business. The Princess was always in another castle.

"Put my princess in another castle, will you?"

Best Doctor Who:

-Tom Baker.

Weapon of choice in a fight?

-Matt Sumner.

Which very neatly brings us to…

Matt:

 Do you get hit on a lot?

hmm, well, I am a martial artist… ohh wait! You mean from the ladies… well, we do have some of those in class too. ;)

Most romantic thing you’ve ever done for a significant other:

Valentines Day = Bubble bath + rose petals just for her.

What is your definition of a geek?

hmm, if you know what a vorpal longsword of wounding +5 is and that it does 1D8 +5 (19/20 x2) + your str mod = damage is….. yeah I think you'd qualify.

Your idea of a great date:

A great date would have to be one that just works out. One that you're not watching the clock. And one you don't want to end. It won't matter where or what you did. The great date would be just being with the person you're with.

How do you stay in shape?

Running, weight training, and martial arts.

How his shirts contain all that bicep and pec muscle will remain a mystery.

Matthew Sumner's Action Reel 2011 from Matthew Sumner on Vimeo.
(putting all those muscles to excellent use)

Most awkward convention moment:

I really don't have one …… yet….. I usually create those moments for others.

Favorite superhero:

Batman. Or Matman, as I like to call him. ;)

If you had to rescue the damsel in distress, how would you do it?

Stealthily. Neither she or her captors would know what happened. She would wake up and wonder if her capture was a dream. I'm not sure I'd stick around to talk to the press either. OK, yeah, that does answer the superhero question again.

Kirk or Picard?

Picard.

If you were a superhero, what would your power be?

Time Stop.

Vampires or Werewolves:

Hunters of both. Armed with "cross" bows, silver weapons, and other nasty gear for slaying their kind.

Oooh, good answer.

Ready to beat down some supernatural punks.

You can see what Matt and Brian are up to at Beat Down Boogie’s Facebook page and Youtube Channel

Up next is a fan favorite at Dragon*con, known for his gorgeous long hair and propensity for wearing leather kilts, it’s TheKiltGuy!  

Do you get hit on a lot? 
If I am in public, yup. So 95% of the time, not at all (I live in a very remote area).

It's so remote he can stand outside and do that without bringing the hordes of screaming fangirls.

Most romantic thing you’ve ever done for a significant other:
Romance-novel-esque: Cooked an elaborate meal, took her to a musical play (her favorite show), gave her a lengthy massage, and retired with a promise to see her the next evening.
Yeah, yeah, stereotypical. But hey, don't knock the classics. They work for a reason.

Have you always been a geek?
*considers* Yup. As far back as I can remember.

What is your definition of a geek?
Someone interested in non-mainstream pursuits, yet still has social skills. 
Geeks are often highly intelligent, and generally eccentric and/or quirky.
Nerds can have intelligence and similar pursuits, but tend to lack social skills.

Female celebrity crush: 
Bianca Beauchamp. Ok, not a normal geek-worthy celebrity, but come on! Have you seen her?
(He's got a point)

Your idea of a great date:
Good food, something silly to make us laugh, and then extravagance in the bedroom.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
Normal day: About 30 minutes (wake up, brush teeth, take puppy on a walk)
Con day: usually closer to 90 minutes. Costuming, makeup, and such takes time. Especially self-corsetry.

What do you do to relax?
Lift weights, run, beat people with heavy objects
So what do you to do work out...oh, nevermind. 


Most awkward convention moment:

Being kilt checked by a very cute girl and having her be crushed that I did not recognize her (actress/convention guest).   
                                                                                                                 And then having to pretend that I knew who she was for the remainder of the con.

To be fair, I'd kilt check that too.

If you had to rescue the damsel in distress, how would you do it?
Kill my way to the main bad guy, get him drunk, and win the girl in a poker game.

Barring that, bitch-slap him into submission, get HER drunk, and then carry her off.


Best Bond: 
*blinks* There is a choice? Shurly you musht be joking. There are no Bonds other than the one true Connery.


Vampires or Werewolves:
Error. Too many variables. Search parameters must be narrowed.
ie - Give me a mythology/style/framework to go off of. There are WAY too many interpretations to answer off the top of my head.
But no Twilight.

Weapon of choice in a fight?

Sir Snortimer (aka - "Snort"). My bull yak. 

I really need to get around to training him to be a riding and attack yak. It would make the whole "barbarian warlord" thing ever so much easier (and awesome).

All hail our barbarian overlord! Applications to be in the harem will be taken now.

What's your zombie survival strategy?
I live in the middle of nowhere and am rather self-sufficient. 
Pretty much my strategy is: 
A) Hang around the farm & kill the few zombies that might show up (or let my pet yaks do it for me)
 Wait a couple of months for the zombies life cycle to complete
C) Take over the remaining population & rule the world


So if zombies attack, I'm crashing with this guy.

And last, but certainly not least, my Star Wars soul mate, Fanservice Anakin.

How he earned the name "Fanservice Anakin"

"Fanservice Fisto" unfortunately does not have the same ring to it

Do you get hit on a lot?  

Sometimes.  Most of the time by old women or younger girls ;)  I'm the president of the teenage girl fan club...

Have you always been a geek?  

Yes, I have pictures of me with glasses and braces at conventions when I was 13.  

Proof that how awkward you are as a teen has no bearing on how hot you'll grow up to be

What is your definition of a geek?  

Somebody who is passionate about something nerdy. Most people are geeks in some way. 

Your idea of a great date:

Dinner and a movie.  As long as there is chemistry between the two of us, we could be doing anything and I'll have a good time

.
How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Like...20 minutes.  I don't even comb my hair, I just put my hat on.

What do you do to relax?  

Go in the hot tub, watch movies, hang out with friends.

How do you stay in shape?  

I work out everyday, eat healthy, make sure I watch the biggest loser (for motivational purposes, of course)

Most awkward convention moment:  

Hmmm probably being hunted down from across the convention center and dragged out into the foyer for a picture ;)  It wasn't really that awkward, but it was definitely something memorable.  Who was that again?

Yeah, who was that creeper??

Could my dorky, "oh sweet I'm standing next to hottie anakin" grin be any wider?

If you had to rescue the damsel in distress, how would you do it?

Under Harry Potter's invisibility cloak.

Why was movie Ron not this hot? WHY?

Vampires or Werewolves:

I like Vampires better except in Twilight...yes, I am team Jacob.

Weapon of choice in a fight?

Lightsabers count, right?  If not lightsabers then I'd have to say some sort of dagger type thing.  

If you were a superhero, what would your power be?

Telekinesis.  That way I can be lazy and just get things with my mind. 

Like this!

What song would you pick as a theme song for your life?  

uh...the Imperial March (Darth Vader's Theme)
Well, I guess that was a no brainer. 

All right! Part II will be posted tomorrow, and you can look forward to a trio of spartans, another Snake cosplayer, and my favorite barbarian ever, Gwarpig Dave! 

Origins 2011

Last year, Tanner and I attended Origins for the first time. I was going as part of the D20 girls, and Tanner was going because he wanted to binge himself on games. We had a pretty fabulous time, so we were definitely looking forward to this year’s trip. It’s really nice being able to remain close with someone you’ve dated, especially when that means you can continue to beat their ass down in games. Yay friendship!

(Tanner would like it known that he won 50% of the games, so perhaps *someone* is taking a few creative licenses with her claims of ass kicking)

Origins isn’t going to get a day-by-day breakdown, because honestly, I was working most of the time, and that cannot be interesting to read about. So here’s an overall blurb about it!

The drive up was nice – we stopped in Tamarack for dinner, which was fantastic. West Virginia is really pretty but Ohio roads suck balls. If anyone ever asks you to road trip through Ohio, run away as fast as you can.

Working for GAMA was pretty neat, my first day I helped with the guest breakfast, which was fun. Basically, you pay for breakfast, and you get to eat and hang out with some of the con guests, which is prime time to pick their brains with all those questions you didn’t get to lay on them at their last panel. It was a nice way to interact with the guests, much more intimate and low key than you normally get. And I got to see my friends Tim and Anna and Ed and Destini! The rest of the day, I was in the game library, so I got to play a bunch of award nominated games. Oh, the grueling labor…  “Zombie Dice” was cute:

Roll three dice at a time, eat brains, do not get killed by shotgun!

and “Last Call” was a big hit. 

Compete with your friends to see who can make their drinks the fastest and most efficiently!

I also worked in the theme bar Saturday night, where we played my new favorite game “Three Dragon Ante” (sort of the love child of Dungeons and Dragons and poker)

The rules don't condense well, so let's just go with "play poker with dragons!"

Gambling games bring out the worst in me, as you can tell by my (wooden monocle) dastardly villain moustache!

 and I got to talk to a lot of cool cats and was introduced to a fun and silly little card game called “Godzilla Stomp!” 

Throw down a semi-random card! Get points! 

It wasn’t all fun and games though! I manned the volunteer booth for a day, and as you might expect, there weren’t a ton of people wanting to sign up to volunteer while they were rushing from one game to the next.  The Secret Service showed up and jammed everyone’s wireless (including cell phones) as they ushered Vice President Biden to a speech at the convention center, so I was promoted from “gopher” to “messenger pigeon”. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to sprint through a convention center in a corset, let me tell you, it’s not quite Baywatch-in-slow-motion-sexy.

The highlight for me was running a game demo in the miniatures room for Faultline Studios, called DADOS. It’s Spanish for “dice”, and it’s a fairly simple strategy/luck game where you roll dice and place them to try and “win” a tile by having the most points on it at the start of your next turn. Whoever has the most points at the end of the game wins – but some of the tiles help you and some of them don’t, so it’s a gamble as to which tiles you try to win. It’s the kind of game that’s easy to learn and tricky to play well – there’s a few permutations in strategy, and a lot of it depends on your opponent as well.  And, I may or may not have gotten owned by a 9 year old.

Tanner’s views on Origins were somewhat different, since he was attending as a regular person having fun. In typical concise Tanner fashion, his review is thus: less people and less free stuff than last year (from when Rio Grande Games was sponsoring the board game room, I guess?). Still a really good supply of games to play, still a really good dealer room. Not as much interesting scheduled stuff. Good panels. Really cool miniatures set up. Got to game with people from last year, which was cool. Less going on at night and everything shut down earlier. Had a lot of fun and the attendees were really nice. Recommended games: Fiasco, Confusion.

Thanks, Tanner!

Also interesting is watching Origins work on accommodating a younger crowd – this year, the theme was “steampunk”, and there were so many more costumes than last year! It probably helps that steampunk is one of the few genres of costuming that’s comfortable to sit and game in for several hours…

Anyway, we had a good time, and we’ll be back next year! To everyone I saw at Origins, I wish we could have had more time to hang out! You must forgive my workaholic  tendencies. V_V

Till the next con! <3 

ConCarolinas 2011

About four years ago, I attended ConCarolinas for the first time. It was my first real convention experience – I met the Mandalorian Mercs and the 501^st, placed “Most Original” in the costume contest (my first costume contest, I was so nervous I couldn’t stop bouncing on the balls of my feet) and met many of the people I consider good friends today.

This year, I attended ConCarolinas as a guest, and I reflected on how far I’ve come in the convention scene. After about 30 seconds of introspection, I decided that was enough, and got on with the con. Because who has time to stand around gazing thoughtfully off into the distance when ConCarolinas awaits?

Thursday Night/Friday Morning (Con Prep)

4am photoshopping and costume wrangling and printing and oh god why did I leave all this to the last minute I regret my decision making. I crash for a couple hours, wake up, try to pack things, and lack the presence of mind to pack things like shorts and toothpaste. Nevertheless, eventually I hit the road with a vendor friend, and without a map or gps but with a great deal of overconfidence we take off for Charlotte.

Friday Afternoon

We drive past the convention hotel

Friday Afternoon, a few minutes later

Vendor friend does not have any booth help. I am charged with the dubious pleasure of helping him set up and organize.

Fridays at conventions are usually a bit slow, although ours is a combination of frantic unpacking and sitting around waiting for traffic in the dealers’ room to pick up. I actually have a little half table out in the hallway this year, so I set up my table and camp out, hoping to sell some prints. Roughly half the convention comes up with the exceedingly witty “Hey Chainmail Chick, where’s your chainmail?” Yeah, I’d like to see you people set up a 10x10 booth in a metal bikini.

I have no Friday panels, so I thoroughly intend to run around and cause havoc after hours. SpaceJesus, Padawan Clayton, and a few friends come out to eat. The nice little Mexican restaurant is half filled with normal people eating dinner with their family on a Friday night, and half filled with steampunk couples and leather-clad dragons.

After dinner, we crashed the panel SpaceJesus was moderating, “How to Write a Sex Scene”. If they have the same panel next year with the same guests, I will totally attend again, because it might as well have been called “The Panel of Thinly Veiled Sexual Innuendos And Also Some Useful Writing Advice.”  Angela and I sat against the wall and snickered every time they said “hard”. (there were way better double entendres but you really just had to be there!) 

Unfortunately, this is about where my steam ran out, and I went back to the room and crashed. My posse did way better than me and stayed out talking and having pillow fights and gaming (although to be fair, they didn’t have a 10am Saturday panel)

Saturday

OH BALLS 10AM PANEL. I wake up sick and manage to only be slightly late to my panel and successfully did not puke on any of the panelists. “Budget Costuming” had Brian Holloway, Mandalore the Uniter, Kirsten of the Bibbering Humdingers, cutie actor Michael R. Williams, and myself, basically explaining how to do costuming on the cheaps. While my initial suggestions would include “wear practically nothing” and “make it out of duct tape”, it was actually a very informative panel with a lot of good tips.

Useful Tips for Those Who Slept In Like I Wish I Could Have

1. Invest in good tools, it’s better to have the right tool you need that will last you for a while than the wrong tool or a cheap tool than needs replacing. (Air brushes, hammers, dremels…)
2. With good costuming, you either have to sink in a lot of time or a lot of money. Be patient. Wait for good deals on things you need. Scour ebay, etsy, craigslist, etc.
3. A good paint job will get you far. With the right materials, you can make plastic look like weathered metal and turn a water gun into a steampunk ray gun or a
4.     Join costuming groups, make friends, and ask around! With so many veteran costumers, there’s always someone who’s willing to help you out or give advice on products and techniques. And even newbie costumers might discover a good resource or trick that everyone else hasn’t heard of.

Lots of sitting around at my table – my younger but taller sister Alyssa was supposed to be there, but family matters kidnapped her from me. I learned a couple things while sitting at my table, namely that I hate sitting at tables. I wanted to be out and about and enjoying the con! I harassed some of the Mandos into coming over to my table so I could leer at them and got some priceless footage out of it :D

Also, SpaceJesus continued our feud by putting a bounty on my head – basically you pay the Mercs a fee, give them a description, and they hunt down your friends and stick them in a cage. But it’s all for charity! Which means that they can’t leave the cage without seeming like an uncharitable douchebag. Ha HA!

The Mandos arrested me first. Now, last year, I was wearing Organic Armor, which is designed for actors and dancers and is super lightweight and flexible. I made a daring and roguish escape and eluded capture for a good fifteen minutes or so. This year, I was wearing gold scale mail all over, and was about as stealthy as a tapdancer wearing jingle bells. Emma and Cord cornered me and brought me in. Curses!

Daphne fed me French fries through the cage bars and smuggled me a sword, which I used to harass my guards. Eventually I attained freedom again, and promptly put a counter bounty on SpaceJesus. It took the Mercs a while to find him, and he hoped to evade them because he was in a panel, but he underestimated the galaxy’s fiercest bounty hunters! One of the Mercs came in and sat next to him for the entire panel just so he could arrest SpaceJesus when the panel got out. Ah, sweet vengeance.

Next up was the “Sci Fi Whose Line Is It Anyway?” panel. Now, a quick bit of info, I love that show more than anything, so when I saw the panel on the list, I begged and pleaded to get on it. And glad I did, because it was one of the most fun panels I’ve ever done! We had three authors, including Harry Turtledove, and one of the guys from the Geek Comedy Tour, who more or less carried the show with his awesome improv skills. We played “Interrogation”, where we found out that author Edward McKeown stole William Shatner’s hair, I got to choose from three bachelors  in “Let’s make a date” and passed over Kirk and Batman in favor of Mario. (unfortunately, when he came to pick me up, I was in another castle). There was an infomercial selling holodecks with complimentary commemorative Princess Diana plates, and ended with a  round of superheroes, where the Hatless Avenger was called upon to prevent a mass of tiny poodles from slamming into the earth and bringing about an adorable apocalypse. He was aided by Captain Thinks His Feet Are Hands And His Hands Are Feet, Miss I Whip My Hair Back and Forth, The Man Who Writes His Way Out of Things, and Only Wears a Bikini Girl. (Guess which one I was)

Next was a quick stop by the fabled con suite, which was run by Caterer X and his talented team of minions this year. I grabbed a bowl of tasty jambalaya (just the thing for the perpetually cold blooded like myself!) and a roast beef sandwich au jus. The only downside to our feast was that the con had forbidden any food to leave the room because…well, I wasn’t super clear on why, because all I saw food-wise from the hotel was the bar, but there was some sort of competing issue. Which meant that everyone who stopped by the con suite had to jam into one tiny room and eat as quickly as they could so there was more room for the next people to come in.  

Later on, I judged the costume contest, aided by Podcasting Rich, my friends Angela and Kelly, and Conor McCullagh. It was a fun contest, with some cute skits – I cannot emphasize how much better costume contests are when you have a witty skit. Otherwise it’s just a bunch of people strolling across the stage with a few awkward pauses. On the flip side, the painful skits are painful…

After the costume contest, I had a panel on fetish costuming. Honestly, I could think of at least half a dozen people better qualified to speak on that panel, because fetish costuming (to me) is very glam and accessorized and on a good day I can sort of manage to put regular amounts of eyeliner on and maybe match my socks. However, it ended up becoming a hodgepodge of stories about cons and personal experiences, and I was the only person on the panel who’s ever had to match their pasties to their see through bikini, so I felt much better about being there!

The fetish costuming panel ran from 10pm-12am, which meant I missed Geek Comedy Tour’s 10pm show (NERTS, I WANTED TO SEE THAT), but we ended the panel a little early on account of the fact that it was drinking o’clock and everyone wanted to hit up the room parties.

Room parties continued to be great! I think we spent most of our time in ConTemporal’s party, but we had a blast at the Deep South Con/Lunar Party (who always has these AMAZING chocolate covered peanut butter balls) and Illogicon’s delicious brownie party. Sadly, Professor Schrodington was not in attendance at Illigicon’s party, but we hung out with several of the artists (in my experience, artists are great partiers) and discovered that one of the Mando Mercs has uber self-styling anime hair.  

Sunday

 I think the 11am panel was even harder to get up for than the 10am panel! Just means the parties were fun ;)

The  11am panel was called “Should I Quit My Day Job”, and it was basically about making that leap from hobbyist/part timer to making your passion your full time career. Since the panel had six writers, it was geared a bit more towards people trying to finish that first or second novel and make it big so they can stop working the 9-5 they mildly despise.

Let me sum up the panel for you: Should you quit your day job? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

In a nutshell, unless you have hit it big, and can pay your insurance, mortgage, car payments, bills, etc  with your earnings, you’re better off keeping the 9-5 for the benefits and trucking along with the novel as a side job. Many published authors (in fact, almost all of the ones on the panel) have to keep a regular job (or have a spouse who does) because the average yearly earnings for an author who is doing well are somewhere around a low starting salary for an entry level 9-5 job.

Dreams crushed yet? Good, goooood. (Mine were squished a bit, but I’m not completely banking on being a writer.)

12pm panel was a quick sketch contest, which was actually moderated by someone else, so I drew my panther with my typical stick figure elegance and scooted out of there.

This con report is getting a bit long, so suffice to say that it went by too fast and I’m already looking forward to next year! Pics can be seen here. 

Things I Heard Were Good But Did Not Get To Experience Personally:

1. The gaming. The good folks of MACE hosted much of the gaming, with help from S.C.A.R.A.B, and everyone must have done a good job because one of my friends was out every night till 4am playing games.
2. The guests. John Billingsley and Bonita Friedericy were apparently incredibly funny and supremely down to earth and friendly. Always good to have fun media guests!
3. Geek Comedy Tour! Nuff said.
4. Ghost Trek, Charlotte’s home brewed horror/supernatural/comedy series based around a paranormal reality show.

Things That Might Need a Bit of Work:

1.       The art room/back hallway is the least trafficked (and coldest!) area of the con, which is frustrating for guests and artists trying to sell their stuff. Other than that, I got nothing!

Edit: OH OH! Randy Richards made this awesome video of the con:

Cons cons everywhere

All right, I’ve been bad. I’ve hit like two conventions in two weeks and not posted any sort of convention recap. And, you know, I’m a slack ass blogger. But that’s because Photoshop OWNS me. If you have a mental image of me sitting with terrible posture, hunched over my computer, staring bleakly at pixels, then you’re wrong. That’d be way gentler. Imagine me lassoed to my desk, frantically flipping through layers, while Photoshop looms over me, wielding a whip and laughing maniacally.

Anyyyway. Here’s my speed recaps of Outlanta/Gaylaxicon (May 13-15 in Atlanta, GA) and Fanaticon (May 22 in Asheville, NC)

OUTLANTA/GAYLAXICON

Friday:

We departed at what felt like dawn. Despite a valiant/halfhearted attempt to stay awake on my part, SpaceJesus drove whilst I slept/drooled on Pikachu. We arrive at the hotel, sit around for a while because the con hasn’t really gotten going yet, watch some Dr. Who and podcast. The con sorta gets going. SpaceJesus gets me a badge. We wander around the con and check out the dealers’ room (awkwardly tiny but with cool stuff) the gaming room (well stocked with games) the con suite (well stocked with food) and then run out of things to do.  I take a nap.

The con has a chocolate symposium! The con suite is filled with chocolatey delights – cookies, fondue, truffles, cupcakes, candy, wine served in chocolate thimbles. I attempt to eat two of everything in the room.

*faceplant*

We film SpaceJesus’ Dr. Who panel and then head out to meet some of his Dragon*con friends at a karaoke bar. I have never experienced a karaoke bar before. There is way too much country music and way too many people wailing off key to country music. I make our friend the Mad Scientist class up the joint (or possibly appear to be gay) by singing “Luck Be a Lady” from Guys & Dolls.  Using peer pressure, we coerce Space Jesus into singing “Bohemian Rhapsody” with Mad Scientist. The whole bar sings along and Space Jesus and Mad Scientist do us proud with some epic rock stances and head banging. And pretty good singing.

Saturday:

I sleep in and then am way too lazy to get dressed in chainmail. Also I apparently left the entire bottom half of my outfit at home. Doh! I spend a good  part of the day wrapped up in a robe and carrying a towel and pretending to be Arthur Dent. We go to a bunch of panels, which is cool. I’m trying to glean author wisdom. We also watch the Neil Gaiman Dr. Who episode AND IT IS PERFECTION.

By this point I’m also addicted to Space Jesus’ ipad. Mad Scientist and I compete for the highest score. He beats me repeatedly which is obviously only because he has freaky neural implants or something.

Mad Scientist convinces us to go off site to a party his grad school friends are throwing. They’re nice but it’s not out scene, so Space Jesus and I attempt to flee with decreasing sneakiness. Unfortunately, we don’t really remember where we parked the car (we walked to the party) Eventually we are running around downtown Atlanta, clutching a Pikachu backpack (me) and wearing a bathroom (him) looking for the car. We find it and speed back to the con and track down the nearest source of alcohol. Also, the con suite is now loaded with cake and three year old aged white cheddar. Dear god.

Pictured: commandeered alcohol, cake overload 

Alas, we missed the drag show! We get to hang out with some of the queens, though, and they’re amazing. We are in time to hear awesome nerd band One Hard Night perform. Actually, we’re there in time to watch them set up for a while, then do a bunch of sound checks, then perform. But they’re high energy and kickass and it’s a good show. Some insanely drunk lady who’s been hanging around the hotel keeps trying to give me a hat with a bird on it and dance sexily for the band. Both of these attempts fail miserably.

The band is auctioning off clothes and kisses to raise money to record an album professionally for a possible contract! We do the mature thing and buy their shirts off them while cheering and hooting.

Sunday:

I wake up roughly ten minutes before check out and pack super fast. We say good bye to new friends and peace out to get some PF Chang’s and head back to NC. It’s actually a lovely drive back despite one spot of rain and I beat my Tetris High Score. It’s still not enough to beat Mad Scientist. Dammit!

Highlights – I didn’t meet her myself, but Space Jesus said Amber Benson (media guest actress who played Tara on Buffy) was fantastic, funny and down to earth. As did pretty much everyone else who met her. Nice!

Very relaxing and fun con. I enjoyed the panels we went to and everyone was friendly.

The hotel was lovely! Newly renovated, lots of space, and very comfy.

Needs Improvement – attendance wasn’t very high and the ticket prices were absurd for the size of the con. Nothing wrong with being a small con! But don’t try to charge like you’re the next Dragon if you’re only pulling in a couple hundred folks.

More parties and Friday night fun! Poor Friday night always get shafted at cons. Where’s the love?

Pre-Fanaticon:

We had a cookout! A massive cookout that took two days to prepare. It was totally worth it, though. It’s so nice to hang out with friends outside the con setting…much more casual and enjoyable. I hope to do more of that this year  :D The final total for the feast included homemade  potato salad, burgers, bratwurst, grilled chicken, hot dogs, fruit salad, a mixed vegetables salad, fresh guacamole and salsa, Mexican street corn (which is the crack cocaine of corn, let me tell you), cole slaw, margaritas, and creamy mint chocolate ice cream. We were eating left overs for every meal after that and it was awesome.

FANATICON:

One day event at the art museum in downtown Asheville. And free! How adorable, I thought. I was in for a bit of a surprise… it was huge! Considering it's only in it's second year, I would say this bodes well. People just packed in there (which made walking around in costumes less revealing than, say, a bikini a bit of a workout) I feared the Mando Mercs would sweat to death. It was a pretty comics heavy show, but had costumers from all areas of fandom. 

See the pics on Facebook here

They had some panels, some larger events (like the costume masquerade, where  participants could stroll across the stage and show off their ensemble, the Star Trek vs Star Wars trivia for charity event, and kick ass comics writer Gail Simone did a talk) Also, we saw the Joker and Venom dancing to a hilarious local nerd band while the Penguin watched. Talk about your random villain interactions.

We totally meant to check out the after party, but everyone was so bushed after sweating in various forms of armor all day that we crashed and watched Kung Fu Hustle instead. Someone will have to tell me if the after party was any good.

Highlights – for a free one day show, you really can’t beat Fanaticon! Definitely worth checking out.

Needs Improvement – oh dear god someone turn up the AC in the art museum by like a million. Or have fans. And water.  

Would have liked to see a little more variety in vendors , and a gaming room would have been awesome.

All right! So you’re caught up, I’m gonna go submit to labor with dignity under photoshop for a bit… 

MEGACONNNNN

Megacon was the convention I returned to my “con roots” and started working for artists again. In this case, it was my good friend James Christopher Hill, who is an unfairly talented artist. He does oil paintings, he does digital paintings, he does computer animation and rendering… so basically he does everything I have ever dabbled in but WAY BETTER.  In this case, James did a rather gorgeous painting of me based off this picture, and Megacon was our big show debut.  Neato!

So it's me, him, his wife Kathy (who is, hands down, one of the best sales people I've met, and super nice to boot) and our friends Don and Doireann. Doireann (pronounced Door-in) had just sprained her ankle in Krav Maga class (we told her to tell people she was fighting MANY NINJAS) so she had to limp around all weekend, poor thing! 

Thursday

We load up the van and drive on down to Orlando – it’s about six hours from Charleston, SC, where I met up with James and Kathy. I nap on and off and organize my music and hey! We’re in Orlando.

Unloading the car takes a surprisingly short amount of time, and we get the booth mostly set up by the time the con closes down for the night. And man oh man, is there a huge difference between “setting up an artist’s prints at a booth in a con” and “setting up a costumer anywhere”.  It’s so eeeeeasy!

Don, who is a giant scary man, decides to give me an impromptu Krav Maga lesson that night. Doireann helps him demonstrate, proving that she doesn't need two working feet to kick someone's ass. I manage to achieve a very basic level of competency at escaping a grip, though I must confess I was privately hoping to learn how to jump and kick someone's head off.

Friday

The con opens at noon. It’s pretty slow – at least, it’s pretty slow compared to the absolute MADHOUSE that we know Saturday will be. Organic Armor set me up with a really gorgeous steampunk ensemble for the show, so I was trying that out…with a full length belly dancer skirt for a base! Gasp! Shock! Actual clothing!

I have to admit, I felt awwwfullly pretty and swishy in that skirt. Belly dancers always have the coolest stuff.

On the flip side of that, every third person I ran into that I knew that day was all, “Hey CHAINMAIL CHICK, where’s your CHAINMAIL?”

All right bitches, I get the hint. You best believe I’m bringing my shiny metallic costuming A-game on Saturday.  But Friday I get to be swishy like a pretty princess dammit! >:-O

Also, I was freaking out a bit when I found out J. Scott Campbell was going to be at Megacon – guess who inadvertently ended up chatting with him? Oh yeah, this chick. Then guess who was a total wuss and did not hand him a business card on the spot because she was too intimidated. Then, guess who spent the rest of the weekend trying to get back over to his booth and make up for that grievous lapse in spinal column but his booth was super packed all the time and she missed her chance?

I AM KICKING MYSELF AS I WRITE THIS. Not that Mr. Campbell lacks for models, but dangit, I wanted to throw my hat in the ring.

So after that stupidity, I threw my card at any artist who so much as made eye contact.

It was great seeing con friends again. Fanservice Anakin showed up rockin his new Mandalorian suit (which, sadly, was not shirtless), I saw Conan Dave and his girl (Dave was actually not doing

Conan because “he wasn’t in shape enough”, keep in mind he looks like he could rip most people in half with his pinky. pinky toe, not the finger pinky.), my drow homies (whom I can barely recognize out of body paint), a couple photographer buddies, webcomic artist Jennie Breeden and her awesome SO Oby, Steve Scott, artist Echo Chernik and her mother… no doubt I’m forgetting some people.

After the J. Scott Campbell failure, I decided I wasn’t going to let opportunity slip away from me again – our booth was actually an aisle over from Yaya Han, the renowned cosplay model, and I plucked up my courage and make a pilgrimage to her booth to seek convention wisdom. She’s about my height, which made her mildly less intimidating to approach, but she’s still dauntingly gorgeous and I stammered probably more than was dignified. But she was very sweet despite my apparent retardation and talked to me for a bit, and made some excellent points about working the con scene as a career.

1)      “Do it with integrity. Don’t step on people trying to claw your way to the top. The convention scene is close knit and people talk, and you never want to have a negative reputation.”

2)      “Find what you’re passionate about, find your niche, what sets you apart from everyone else. There’s a ton of cosplay models nowadays, but you have to find your own angle.”

I’m on it, Yaya! Thanks for the advice :D

Saturday

Yes indeed, Saturday was an absolute madhouse. James and Kathy went over in the morning and I slept in a bit, then wrangled myself into my chainmail and set out walking down to the convention center (we were staying a little ways down the street).  Now, in true pride-goes-before-the-fall fashion, I had a pair of heels that I’ve owned for… longer than I care to admit, and I was debating wearing them because a) they have a history of breaking at cons  b) they’re held together by glue and willpower and c) oh yeah, they’re actually broken AGAIN.

Nevertheless! I wanted to feel slinky and sexy and the easiest way to do that is to saunter around in chainmail fishnets and some strappy heels.

So, I hiked all the way down to the convention center – stubbornly turned down a very nice man who kept trying to offer me a ride, possibly because I looked like a barbarian hooker – and sure enough, by the time I got to the con, my feet were blistered and raw. Herrrp a derp. Went barefoot the rest of the day and tried to slink regardless, but goddamn, did my feet hate me.

Kathy and I also worked out a tip system – take a picture, leave some monies – because as much as I do not mind posing for random shots, when I’m trying to sell my own pictures at a booth, it’s a little frustrating to have people snapping camera phone pics and then walking off without so much as glancing at my work. People ended up being really nice about it, though! I think it’s just a matter of doing it right and not being demanding or petulant or entitled.

Saturday Night

The infamous Wolf Pack Elite throws their big party, which had some kind of demented circus theme. It was a pretty cool event, but jesus, we had to wait in line for like, an hour. My legs were tired before I even hit the dance floor.

Also, I finally got my “clubbing chainmail” together – hehehe.

Side note, if we go out to a club, be advised that my style of dancing is best described as “spastic”.  I prefer “electrified octopus”, but the point is there is a lot of flailing involved. It’s better for everyone’s health and safety that you do not get too close. I have included a helpful PSA:

Sunday

In summary…

Pics I Posed For: 695879834652

Pics I Probably Ruined by Blinking: 57989986221

Pics Taken of Me While I Was Eating a Sandwich: more than zero, what is wrong with you people

People Who Started a Conversation by Asking if I Was Single: 3

How Often I Petted Fanservice Anakin’s Abs While We Were Taking Pictures: 45 pets/minute

Hours Slept: 20-25?

Number of People with Free Hugs Signs That I Hugged: 0

Time I Was Mistaken for a Slave Leia Costume: 28738634 – WTF PEOPLE, HAVE YOU SEEN STAR WARS BEFORE. I AM APPALLED 

Times I Got to Use My New Found Krav Maga Skills: 0

Times I considered It: Only a couple! Hehehehe. 

StellarCon 35

Sometime last year, my convention mentor Space Jesus popped the question to me:

“Would you be a guest at StellarCon 35?”

Of course I said yes, and then I promptly put it out of my mind until about a week ago when my vendor friends started getting ready for Stellar. Then suddenly I remembered I needed business cards! I needed prints! I needed to prepare for my panels! 

Well, I got two out of the three done and hoped that whoever showed up to my panels really liked improvisation.

I had a few main goals at this con:

1)      Do a decent job of being a guest

2)      Properly deflower the convention virgins (we brought some friends who were new to the con scene)

3)      Make sure my vendor friends sleep less than I do

4)      Sell at least…ONE PRINT. (hey, you set the bar low…)

Our group consists of myself, Tanner, my younger sister and her roommate and one of their friends, our resident Pretty Asian Boy, and our friend MadScientist, who left us for grad school in Atlanta, where he is no doubt learning how to violate natural laws in pursuit of things no man was meant to create. (He was drinking whiskey out of test tubes all weekend, if that tells you anything…)

I camp out at Space Jesus’ table. He’s not making use of it because he’s busy organizing things (and doing a terrific job of it) so I annex half for my prints. We’re set up across the way from Kass and Trouble, who have a bunch of neat jewelry and shinies (some of which jingle most delightfully and Kass employs them to attract the fangirls)

10pm Friday  - Nearly Naked Costuming. I was filling out my guest form at 3am and thought it would be funny to propose a silly panel…which Space Jesus then made into a real panel.  I did my part by showing up in the bare minimum of chainmail bikini (and chainmail stockings, which Space Jesus had banned me from wearing until after hours), but it actually ended up being somewhat educational, part costuming and makeup/bodyart tips and part costuming stories.

Having survived my first panel…booze time!

Now, I have drinking abilities on par with say, a baby bird, so my idea of boozin’ it up is really more like nursing one drink for a very long time. But that did not stop me from staying up till 4am, no sirreee. Because my first panel wasn’t until 12pm, so I could sleep in, suckahs! I’m pretty sure Matt of Ribbons and Rivets got about 3 hours of sleep….Goal 3 accomplished.  

11am Saturday  [not 12pm, I had the wrong time on my form and found out at 10:31 that I was supposed to be at the panel at 11….ever seen someone speed walking in a chainmail bikini? It is not dignified] - How to Win a Costume Contest. Hey, pro tip – if you’ve got your heart set on winning a costume contest, and two out of the four judges are doing a panel called HOW TO WIN A COSTUME CONTEST, you might want to show up, instead of complaining after you don’t place that the contest wasn’t fair.  Hey, the waaaaaaahmbulance just pulled up outside …

4pm Saturday Artist Round Table – published and award winning artist Alan Welch, world famous fantasy painter LARRY FREAKIN ELMORE, and…myself… sat down and discussed our artwork, our inspiration… ahhh mostly we sat around and listened to Larry talk because he’s super entertaining.

On the difference between digital art and traditional painting :

(after he had spent a long time laboring over an extremely difficult and detailed composition for a major game company)

Larry: So I sent the painting in and thank god, they loved it.

Me:  See, that’s the nice thing about photoshop – they don’t like the color of magical city, click click click, totally different color!

Larry: I think if they’d asked me to change something, I would’ve shot myself.

One thing that was a bit weird was selling my own prints – I’m used to booth girl-ing for artists and costumers, but it’s completely different to have a table full of my own face staring back up at me. I really want to start doing prints of other people, I think that will cut down on the weirdness. I’ll admit, my inner artist was pleased when prints that I had spent quite a few hours laboring over proved to be popular. ^_^ I’ve already got three new ones underway.

7pm Costume Contest – some really cool entries this year! I was judging, along with Larry Elmore, Todd McCaffrey, and Space Jesus. I’m not sure if I like judging or entering more…the feeling of power was intoxicating. And, I got to hang out with Larry and Todd, two of the Guests of Honor, and pretend like I was also an important person. They are both very easy going and down to earth, and by far way more fun than most celebrity media guests I have met. We ended up having a long and rambling conversation about everything from motorcyles to child beauty pageants.

9pm The Delphic Oracle – Best. Panel. EVER. The way the Oracle works is that there’s five people on the panel. The audience poses questions to the oracle, and the panelists answer, each person contributing one word at a time in order. The results are convoluted…but awesome. Kind of like how the real Delphic Oracle gave answers that weren’t actually helpful because they could be interpreted either way. I pull the MadScientist onto the panel, because he’s also a theater nerd and excels at this kind of thing.

Question: Why did Davey try to end our panel earlier by telling us the wrong time?

Answer: Because Pikachu makes Davey horny.

Question: Do real vampires sparkle?

Answer: NOOO-OOOO-OOOO-OOOO-OOOO.

Question: My liege king wishes to make war on Darius of Persia. How can he ensure victory?

Answer: Victory will surely be his because he has Pikachu’s love, unless he fails to bring the stolen Encyclopedia Brown wrapped in glistening silken echidna balls.  

Then we composed a “Dear John” letter… that began: “Salutations Juan Alberto Enrique Rodriguez…”

And because the panel was moderated by Todd McCaffrey – someone had to go there and ask a question about Pern:

Question: Are the humans on Pern part of a large scale social experiment that is being observed by outsider forces?

Answer: Surely you don’t think there are humans on Pern?

Yeah make sense of that! THE DELPHIC ORACLE HAS SPOKEN!

10 pm Wild Con Stories – really more like “Tales of Drunk! Space Jesus.” Val the Epic Bartender and I sandwiched Space Jesus and shared some delicious pineapple rum fruit juice COFFEE. Anyway, to know Space Jesus is inevitably to have a ridiculous story about his antics (ask me how I met him sometime), so we keep the panel going strong for the full time.  

PANELS ARE OVER, BACK TO PARTIES. (Goal 1 accomplished!)

In honor of our panel together, Val invents a drink called “Wild Con Story.” Val is the kind of bartender that if she hands you something, you drink it, no questions asked. Although, I’m not clear on whether it was “Wild Con Story” or “Wild Consort”, because the drink tastes like delicious soda but it is SUPER ALCOHOLIC. I had one and suddenly everyone was my good friend that I wanted to give hugs to.

RECIPE FOR TROUBLE:

Equal parts: Tuaca, Chocolate Raspberry Liquor, Chambord.

Add a splash of Amaretto.

...Finish with Club Soda

[Feed to Allegra]

Sunday morning, everyone claws their way out of bed (Goal 2 accomplished! If you have any energy left at the end of the con, then you didn’t have as much fun as you could have, hahaha!), I sell a bunch of prints (Goal 4 super accomplished!), and somehow resist sleeping on my own table.

I never mean for these blog posts to get so long, dangit! So to wrap up –

StellarCon 35, in review, was awesome. Definitely would recommend!  It was extremely well run, the guests (besides that one scantily clad chainmail ho) were fun, the attendees were great... I was sad to see that attendance had dropped since last year, but wasn’t too surprised, since Shevacon is now apparently on the same weekend. (What the crap, Shevacon, not kosher)

Here’s to StellarCon 36!  *toasts with Wild Con Story*

Gulf Coast Ren Faire

Day 1 – Thursday 2/24

The car is packed, the inventory is mostly together, the Protomen CDs are burned…and no indication from the boss man when we’re leaving. We affectionately refer to him as the “Chaos Wagon”, because there is no such thing as organization when he is involved.

It’s roughly an 11 hour drive to Pensacola from the Greensboro area, so Matt and I are looking nervously at the receding sunlight. I am excited about the impending sunshine and beach sand and pack ALL TWO of my bathing suits.

The Costume Boss calls! We can start driving! At… 7pm. Hoo boy. 

We end up calling it quits around 2:45am (technically 1:45am because of the time zone change) and getting a hotel room for the night. The Costume Boss tries to make me watch a clip from Pink Flamingos – yeah, that one – and reads us dirty jokes while Matt compulsively does pushups in the corner of the room because he’s missing his gym time.  

Number of Protomen album listens: 3

Day 1.5 – WAY TOO EARLY FRIDAY MORNING

The sky absolutely opens up and startles everyone awake. 

Day 2 – Friday 2/25

Shower or sleep in…shower or sleep in. The Costume Boss reminds us that it’ll be our last shower for a few days. I crawl out of bed.

The shower knob is bizarre. I fail to figure out how to make it work and end up taking a midget shower by crouching under the faucet. 

We hit the road again. It’s a beautiful, sunny, cloudless day. The Costume Boss is strongly in favor of dumping our stuff at the faire grounds and hitting the beach. This plan is abandoned when we actually reach the grounds and realize that most everyone else has set up already.

Number of Protomen album listens: 5 

Setting up the tent is interesting – first we put up the basic tent structure, then the metal grids that get zip tied into a frame for the hangers, then all the mannequins and display racks, then the clothes, and then the weather flaps. Fortunately we do a pretty good job, because it turns out we’ll be camping out in our booth. This seems like a totally awesome idea until the sun sets and the temperature starts dropping rapidly and the wind picks up and I realize that I only have two thin blankets in the car.

Matt builds a wind barricade out of our empty inventory tubs. It is moderately successful, in that it keeps the wind from totally freezing us during the night. It is still way too cold. I’m finally drifting off to sleep and…oh god! Are people walking around? Is that sunlight? WHY ARE YOU UP SO EARLY?

Day 3 – Saturday 2/26

Despite “looking like a small child about to throw a temper tantrum”, I eventually make it up. The sun is shining, the faire is bustling, and the food vendor right across from us is cooking something that smells waaaayy too good. The interesting thing about ren  faires in the deep south – alligator meat! I didn’t get to try any, sadly, but it’s on my to do list now. Next year, Gulf Coast Faire…

I'm a little apprehensive about wearing the chainmail - hopefully it's not too risque or "not period enough" - and I left my normal "modesty skirt" at home so I'm making due with the considerably less modest but very fierce looking fur skirt I originally made to wear with the mail. Then I see a girl wearing a pink pirate hooker outfit and I feel less worried.

Our tent is open on two sides, and a vendor warned us last night that there would be quite a few shoplifters about. “Watch for the ones with the big cloaks – they will fluff them!” We position ourselves strategically around the tent. Matt gets hit on by a girl wearing a really gorgeous Mother Confessor outfit, and an absurd number of people attempt to wear the garters as necklaces and we finally just stop correcting them.

The faire is small, probably smaller than the Raleigh Ren Faire at the State Fairegrounds, but boy is it packed. We have waves of traffic all day and sales are good. This also means that we never actually get to leave the tent to look around. I sneak out a few times to peek at the jousters but perpetually miss the actual fight. Balls.

Saturday night dinner – we practice the virtues of not eating your profits and picnic in the tent with tuna fish and fancy crackers and the various munchies we brought. 

Then I make us go get ice cream. I tried! 

There is no wind tonight…so the tent is absurdly muggy. Oh sleep, will you elude me again?

Day 4 – Sunday 2/27

Sleep totally eludes me. Dammit.

Since no one read me the riot act about my chainmail bikini yesterday, I decide to try out the new chainmail meets leather combo – Matt has a garter belt with knives set that I’m coveting , so I bully him into making it sorta fit me. Don’t worry though, he had his revenge with all the yanking that was “needed” to make it sit right.

[here’s where a picture of the outfit should go but I don’t have one because I was TOO HERP DERP to remember to get pictures of myself (or most of the faire really)] 

I catch my first shoplifter! He’s trying to make off with one of our daggers by holding it tucked up against his forearm…of course, since he’s wearing a short sleeved shirt, it’s sort of glaringly obvious. Still, I got to give my best just-gimme-a-good-reason-punk smile. He returns the dagger.

The Costume Boss has been insisting the whole ren faire that I charge a dollar for pictures. Finally we do it as a joke, because we’re sleep deprived enough to think it’s funny and hey! I make $5 towards the end of the day. Sweet. Straight into my chocolate student loan repayment fund.

I’ve handed out all my business cards, all of Shaun’s, all of The Costume Boss’, and most of Matt’s. I feel like I’ve been quite productive. And it’s been a long day at the faire, time to rest break down the tent and find a hotel for the night before driving back drive back to North Carolina, on our collective ten hours of sleep for the weekend.

All right! I’m gonna keep Matt awake all the way back (he’s driving) the only way I know how: MORE PROTOMEN.

Number of Protomen album listens: WHO KNOWS

Technically Monday 6am

We make it home! Yaaaaay! And my foray to the Gulf Coast is concluded. I completely failed to go to a beach, though, so there better be a return trip in my future…

Day 5

I catch up on sleep.