Thursday, June 6, 2013

Welcome to my new Kickstarter project: Allegra Wants to Eat Fancy Food!

Hey guys! You know how like, I really like to eat? And I'm a huuuuuge foodie? Well, here's a chance for you to help me realize my ambition of eating at a super nice restaurant! As you know, good food is expensive. So I'm doing a kickstarter to raise money so I can treat myself to a fantastic meal!

What's in it for you: All of these EXCITING INCENTIVES!
Also since I'll be eating expensive fancy food instead of like, ramen and mac and cheese, so you're helping me get into shape for skimpy cosplays! Teehee!

*ahem* for example
Pledge $1
You decrease the odds I will hunt you down and mug you for money.

Pledge $5
I will acknowledge you in public.

Pledge $10
Your existence will be validated because I will mention you BY NAME on Facebook.

Pledge $25
I will text you a photo of what I'm eating.

Pledge $50
You can give Pikachu-bookbag a bath.

Note: if Pikachu-bookbag is already sufficiently clean I have other Pikachus

Pledge $100
Not only will you receive all of the previous incentives, I will let YOU pick which drink I order!

Pledge $200
You can accompany me and watch me eat. We can split an appetizer.

Why you should back this project:
Because I really like good food!

Yeah but don't a lot of people...

But Allegra! If you're really hungry and you want to eat, why don't you just buy good food in a price range you can afford?


What do you think I am, some kind of peasant??

Look at this shiny headdress.

You see that? I AM A PRINCESS.

Anyway this entitles me to nice things without having to do much work for them.  I MEAN, LOOK AT EVERYTHING I'M DOING FOR THIS KICKSTARTER!

Stretch goals!

Raise $600
I will make a video of myself eating sensuously, unless it's like, lettuce, or a really big piece of sushi.

Raise $2000
I will take pictures of myself naked adorned only with sushi. Sushi pieces used for this shoot will be mailed to the highest backers, which they can consume at their own risk.

Like this but with no soft glow effects.
Raise $1,000,000
I will buy my own sushi restaurant so I can have sushi whenever I want while wearing my favorite costumes. Anyone who donates can totally come hang out at the restaurant (costumes not required)

So thanks for checking out my Kickstarter and I hope you'll donate! Yaaay!

PS this was intended as a humorous piece inspired by recent events but in the time it took to write this I realized I am really hungry and all the sushi pictures I looked up aren't helping and suddenly this really seems like a great idea halp.

PPS nvm made a sandwich, I'm better now